Is it okay to offend?

I’ve been thinking a lot about whether or not a writer should write in such a way that risks offending some of their readers. I know I’ve watched movies or read books where it seemed like the political or moral points were painfully transparent. People often say they are too preachy, trying to shove their ideals down their throats. But the secret is, almost every movie and book out there has an opinion; fiction, non-fiction, whatever – Some writers are just more skillful at disguising it with metaphor and plot than others.

Hearing opinions challenges people; forces people to think – to face things they have never faced before – to look in the mirror and finally admit “That’s me”. It’s my contention that people need to hear opinions. It is both healthy and necessary for humans to explore their opinions, state them, and try to understand why somebody else’s might differ, without losing their temper. It takes practice.

I used say I was apolitical, mainly because I didn’t enjoy debating. The truth is, I still don’t. But I have always enjoyed listening to the point of view of others, trying to learn what I could. When I sit down to write, there isn’t somebody else there spouting opinions for me to sit back and listen to. It’s just me and the computer screen or paper, my fear of offending others, and my opinions laced within every sentence.

I have many opinions. Everybody has them, and there are fanatics out there that will vehemently defend theirs. Touting a strong opinion can be a potentially deadly game; the more controversial it is, the less likely you will want to just come out and state it (unless your only goal is to anger people). It might be better to gradually bring it to light, taking care that you explain your thought process along the way.

I’m not trying to say that you should try to write for everyone. Writing a meaningful story automatically means you will be alienating people – getting on some people’s bad sides. There’s no way around it.
And even if there was a way, I’m not sure I would take it. Conflict is perhaps the one thing that makes life worth living and writing worth doing.

Some opinions are right to some people and just plain wrong to others, no matter what you say or do. But you won’t be writing for those people. Cut your losses. By definition, opinions are always correct … as defined by the lives and experiences of the opinion-holder. Even radically different opinions.
I think of it this way: The worst song you’ve ever heard is someone else’s favorite.

Since, by nature, opinions can’t be wrong, but many people hate hearing opinions and feel offended, can you write a book without offending anyone?
I say ‘yes’, but the book will end up feeling stale! If the writer doesn’t stand up for some ideal and inundate their writing with it, the outcomes for the characters become boring, and the drive for them to continue is gone. If one side isn’t ‘right’ and another side isn’t ‘wrong’, if a character doesn’t have convictions to do what is ‘right’ in the face of some kind of ‘evil’, what reason does a fiction reader have to keep reading? Readers tend to think they can identify and side with ‘good’.

Just like with real life, your characters will face problems in their books and be challenged … and be forced to take sides. And it’s up to the writer to be certain they pick a side and defend it. Just try not to be too transparent :)

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0 replies on “Is it okay to offend?

  1. I was gonna answer this, but you’ve done it yourself in your fine post. The main thing, theme? As a writer, be honest, readers always know when your lying.
    Peace to you my friend.

  2. Interesting post. In the novels I’ve written, my characters stand up for the Earth and for the abiding survival imperatives of our time: to avoid nuclear conflagration and the destruction of unbridled global warming. I think if you’re going for what seems to be universal truth i.e. we ALL need to survive on this earth, you run less risk of offending. On the other hand, when a writer gets down to specifics of a religious or geopolitical nature, the stakes are higher for offending.

    I hope never to offend with my art or writing, but I suppose it’s bound to happen at some point!

  3. wow, a world-class artist/writer and a college writing professor/publisher! Welcome, both of you. It never ceases to amaze me ~ meeting so many interesting people since I started this little project.
    Lynda- your art gallery makes me wish I had a few thousand dollars burning a hole in my pocket :)

  4. Nice post. I’m with you right up to ‘by their nature, opinions can’t be wrong’. I suppose this depends on how you define ‘opinion’. “Wiccans eat babies at the full moon” is in the form of a statement of ‘fact’ (and it’s wrong, btw); “Wiccans are evil” is stated as a fact, but would seem to fall more into the realm of opinion. “I don’t like Wiccans” is clearly an expression of personal taste, so it can’t be said to be ‘wrong’ in the sense of being incorrect. Unfortunately, people distinguish poorly between these kinds of cases, and an awful lot of what people identify as their ‘opinion’, to which they are somehow ‘entitled’, are actually beliefs that are factually wrong. Can we say that a personal taste based on factually incorrect beliefs is ‘wrong’? I think so, but that’s just my opinion.

  5. My, how interesting. The easy answer is to say opinions are based on fact and anything else is a ‘preference’. But I don’t buy it. I believe I have an answer that dares to edge a little bit closer to the truth.
    So someone might say, “Wiccans eat babies at the full moon.” What I was trying to get at in the post above is that you have to be willing to hear opinions that are stupid, opinions that are ill-informed, or even opinions that go against your credo and not get angry. Instead, listen, and try to understand why someone might say something like that, and I guarantee you will learn something about ‘perspective’ every time. Terry Goodkind describes the importance of perspective well: Who would you fear more~ a two-hundred and fifty pound man who doesn’t like your face, or a one-hundred and fifty pound woman who believes with all her heart that you brutally murdered her baby, and there was no convincing her otherwise?

    Opinions arise from a ‘because’ clause. “Because I saw it in a movie once… (personal observation) all Wiccans eat babies at the full moon (broad generalization).”
    In an ideal world, all opinions would only be statements based on fact and could be rationally debated. But Wicca is a good example: Most people know very little about Wicca and can only draw conclusions based on their abstract observations.
    Here’s where it gets tricky – Opinions are never facts; they are value judgments based on personal observations or facts-at-hand. So by their very nature, they are never wrong. The application of those opinions can be wrong, however. For instance, if someone were to go around killing people because his parents always told him a certain race was evil (years of misinformed observation based on broad generalization), the application is terribly wrong.

  6. Since you can’t tell who’re you’re about to offend and who will follow your words and possibly find a new perspective–perhaps even feel enlightened because of you–you need to write whatever you need to write, however it comes to you. Always. But you’re way too talented not to know that already.
    No matter how skillful a writer is, someone will get offended. Some people get offended for no reason they recognize or anyone else can tell either.
    I always bring up this old Mark Twain quote, because as a writer who knows I have no chance of pleasing a broad base, let only–everyone–it’s always pleased me. Supposedly, Twain said (probably not to his agent though the business was no doubt much different then) that he no more hoped everyone loved his work than loved his daughter.
    Aren’t most writers tempted to think of their stories as their “babies?”

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