The stuff that’s going on

(Just to forewarn you, I use the word ‘very’ a lot in this post.)

It’s not fair to just say ‘stuff is going on’ and not tell you what that stuff is.

First of all, I wrote yesterday. I couldn’t bring myself to edit my novel so I worked on one of my short stories instead. Things have simply been too stressful for me to do much editorial work.

During the past month, I’ve had to–and still have to–make some huge, life-altering decisions.  It involves moving far away from where I currently live.

1,982 miles (3,190 kilometers) to be exact. Sacramento, California. This is where success in the company I work for eventually leads. We’ve discussed the possibility of moving there in the past, but when we were told that we needed to make a final decision within the next few weeks, well, the discussions we’ve had went from hypothetical to very real and very difficult. Far more difficult than I ever imagined.

For me, moving isn’t that much of an issue; I’ve never been very connected with my family and I see all of this as an adventure.

For my wife, though, it’s another story. She gets anxious about things like this, and her family is about as tightly knit as they come. For her to leave is for her to say goodbye to a gigantic support network, an extended family who is very close and loves her very, very much.

There’s other complications, too. For instance, my son is on several waiting lists for Easter Seals programs, some of which are over six months long. Unfortunately we practically had to wrestle this organization to the ground just to have them send someone to our house to test our son for autism. (He did a great job, but it was found he has some minor delays, such as speech delays.)

He finally did get to meet with a speech therapist … just a few days ago. Naturally, we’re worried that if we move to a different state, getting him back into programs like this will get him back in Waiting List Hell, and will cause many more delays during such a crucial time in his life.

We’re also meeting with realtors, scrambling around the house trying to get it ready to sell, there’s been stress, there’s been tears.

9 replies on “The stuff that’s going on

  1. Stay strong, my man. Issues like this tend to plague us when we think it’s going swimmingly, but keeping your head is key. You seem to be at a good place emotionally – the distance of family for you gives you the benefit of being the rock, and focusing on making it all work.

    I know what you mean about the waiting lists, the kids, the tests for autism (my 11yr old has Aspergers) and the massive upheaval that comes with this kind of life change.

    Just enjoy the quiet moments, and don’t forget to breath.

  2. Whoa, but there is an up side to all of this of course… My husband and I live in Sacramento! :P Okay, joking about it being an up side but seriously… if you guys need any help, please don’t hesitate to ask. Anything.

    And also — Sacramento is such a great city I am SURE that there is wonderful places for your son here. No doubt about it.

    I, too, understand your wife’s feeling about moving. Family is SUCH a huge part of my life, we are so extremely close… and moving over 2,000 miles way was one of the hardest YET overwhelmingly bravest things I have ever done. I definitely get home sick, but knowing that I, despite everything my heart may have been telling me, moved to a bigger city, experienced so many new things… I am quite happy that I done it. :) I hope your wife will feel that as well.

    Again! Craziness that we may be neighbors or sorts. If there is anything my husband and I can do, let us know.

    • Wow! I forgot you guys lived out there :D

      We are flying out there to visit March 16th-18th. I think we’re going to be pretty busy, though. Any ideas on where to eat/visit?

  3. I wanted to wait for a respectable length of time before commenting on this post since I’m so close to the issue.

    In the end, this comes down to you, Nick. I’m confident that you’re trying to make the best decision for your family. Unfortunately, this isn’t a choice that can be made by drawing up a list of pros and cons. Let wisdom and prudence be your guides. Think, pray, and talk about it until the best option emerges.

  4. Oh, boo! I didn’t realize you replied. Sorry I couldn’t get back to you in time for your visit here. And I am sorry if it was raining the entire time you guys were visiting. The husband and I visited last March as well to find jobs and hunt for apartments… and it rained the entire time. :| March sucks here I’ve learned.

    Did you guys find any good places to eat and visit? :)

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